Monday, July 9, 2012


Rory baby. 
Oh, Rory baby.
You were supposed to be born three days before your due date, just like Josie. 
But you weren't.
I really wanted to contract that uterus myself.  I couldn't figure out how and that made me feel sorry for myself. I got a little ornery and sad that you wouldn't come out. 
The doc and I scheduled an induction for June 28th at 9:30 pm. One week after your due date. But I really didn't want to be induced. 
You see, I decided four weeks ago to deliver with out any pain medication. No epidural, even though I loved it so much last time. Why? Lots of reasons, I guess, but mostly because it felt like the right thing to do. And I try to trust God when he tells me to do things.
We tried lots of tricks to naturally induce labor. Walking. Squatting. Bouncing. Acupressure Points. Spicy Food. And other adult things....
On the 26th, I started having contractions. We got ready to have a baby. We finalized our hospital bags and made a quick trip to the grocery story. And then after 5 hours of contracting, they stopped. 
I was bummed, but I stayed hopeful. Things would happen and you'd join us soon.
24 hours and 0 contractions later, I was no longer hopeful. I was DESPERATE. 
Time was ticking. It was the 27th and tomorrow I would be induced using pitocin. And that felt wrong to me. 
But, there was one little trick we hadn't yet tried.
I just so happened to have a bottle of castor oil leftover from my college days, when I thought it was a good idea to do a detox diet, but never actually did it.
After some consultations with the internet and some wise women, I choked down a quarter of a cup of castor oil. And an orange. It was 4:30 pm.
At 6:30 pm I was a pooping machine. I have never pooped like this before. The castor oil was definitely doing something. 
At 8:15 pm, I hurried inside to use the toilet. And I had a contraction.
Four minutes later, another one. And another. And another. I was thrown into the woes of hard labor and I was unprepared. I was trying to relax and breathe through the contractions, but I was scared. I was afraid that these contractions were false labor again, my uterus contracting without my cervix being dilated and stressing out baby. I knew things were intense, but I didn't know if it was really doing anything. 
I was slowly tuning out my surroundings. I needed to focus in order to survive the contractions. 
I called Kristin, our doula, and she helped me calm down a bit. She reminded me that if I could talk in between contractions, that I was okay. I could use those breaks to calm myself down and stay relaxed. 
I mentally prepared myself to take on the contractions again. I could do this. 
And then I couldn't again. I started to feel overwhelmed and incapable. I was shaking. The pain was too intense. And I bit Grant, right on his belly.
He called Kristin this time and she told me to climb into the tub. And she was on her way. It was about 10:30 pm. I think.
At this point, I knew this was real labor. I could feel my cervix dilating. But I also knew I couldn't do this much longer. I labored in the bathtub for a bit. It was warm and the water took a lot of the pressure off of my stressed body. Grant was pouring water over me and I felt in control again. 
Kristin arrived and reminded me to breathe and grunt deeply. I was feeling good. 
And then I needed to use the toilet. I was afraid to get out of the water and I knew sitting through a contraction would be horrible. Too much pressure. But I had to poop. The castor oil was still working. I think my water broke while I was on the toilet.
I laid back in the tub and I screamed. A lot. I couldn't keep going. I needed to be done.
I needed to push. 
At about 11:20 pm, we left for the hospital. 
Central Baptist Hospital is literally in our back yard. Walking time is 8 minutes and driving time is 12 minutes, so we had planned to walk to the hospital for delivery. 
After frightening our new neighbors while I screamed through a contraction in the parking lot, we realized that walking was not an option. Sorry, cute old man that you had to witness that. 
I swore at a red light, which Grant eventually ran. And then he nervously said, "So, I know this is a bad time to ask this, but where do we go?" 
Oh, yeah, he'd never driven to the hospital before. Crud.
I tried to figure out how to get us there. But I struggled. We made illegal u-turns through red lights and eventually parked in a construction zone, because I knew I couldn't make it from the parking garage. 
We shuffled to the elevator and headed up to the second level. It was supposed to be Labor and Delivery. But it was the Cardio Cath Lab. 
We were in the wrong elevator in the medical office side of the hospital. Which was deserted. Panic settled in as a contraction surged. Grant talked me through it, reminding me to breath and encouraging me to relax. 
As we waddled to the correct elevator, I could feel the baby descending. I tried to ignore the feeling, because I knew if I acknowledged it, the baby would come out. 
Kristin beat us to Labor and Delivery and alerted the nurses we were coming. This was good, because all I could say was, "I need to push!" which sent the nurses into a flurry. They rushed me into the closest room and somehow all my clothes were removed.  

I laid on the bed and a nurse checked my cervix. 
I was fully dilated and ready to push. The doctor was paged, but he wouldn't make it in time. 
Another lady took charge and I started pushing. The first push was the worst. I wasn't really ready, so it was ineffective and hurt like crazy and I screamed like crazy.  
Kristin reminded me how to breathe and push naturally so that I could work with my body. And I rocked the next push. Baby was coming out. 
A couple of contractions and a few minutes later, Rory Jay Heward was born. 
June 27, 2012
11:48 pm
7 lbs 12 oz
20 inches long
Web toed
Or is it webbed toes? 

He's a beautiful baby. I am so grateful we had such a wonderful experience delivering our baby boy. It was crazy and we were terrified and it hurt and I thought I couldn't do it. But we did it. And I am so grateful. 

When I am asked whether or not I'd do it again, I'll try to forget the pain.
And I'll try to remember these incredible moments...

 I've never felt so empowered in my life. It was beautiful. 

It was also exhausting. This pictures says a lot. Ha.